11-Rumble in the Deep

11

Rumble In The Deep

“He’s leading us in circles.”  Mel’s statement only attested to what Zachariah already knew.

“We have been down this hallway six times.  I think I figured that part out already,” Zachariah whispered back sarcastically.

“Well, hate to state the obvious here, but if you want to continue your suicidal quest to see a wyvern, we are going to have to ditch this guy.”  Mel informed Zachariah.

Suddenly, everyone was stopped dead in their tracks as the sound of an unearthly roar shook the structure.  It sounded like something out of a Godzilla movie but so much worse.

So much closer.

Zachariah felt a drag in the pit of his stomach.  It was as if every inch of him was being drawn toward the roar… as if he was being called.

Without warning, Zach took off down the tunnel in the direction of the roar.

“Zach! Where are you going?” Mel yelled after him.

“Teishi!”  Their ninja guide yelled after him and then sprinted after him.

****

Kahn cursed herself as the druid vanished.

How had she gone down so easily?  And to a damned druid.

It had to be this new Rognaithe.  There was something about him that distracted her.

It wasn’t romantic.  Lord knows she found him physically and socially repulsive.  It was his sprit.  He refused to back down.  In the face of impossible circumstances, he continued to spit at fate.  There was something about the behavior that captured her imagination.

She had to see how this played out.

She smiled to herself after she was sure the druid was gone.  The grandmasters of her clan had one secret they had managed to keep from all outsiders and that was the fact that they could make one handed gestures to invoke the ninja magic.

Kahn’s right hand did three quick ninja movements and the rope disintegrated.

Kahn stood and stretched her weary muscles and bones.

The druid would be ahead of her, so she would have to move fast.

****

The tunnel opened and Zachariah came to a halt, in awe of the structure in front of him.

He stood in a very slowly descending spiral staircase.  Each stair was seven or eight feet long but only dropped maybe four inches.  On the one side was sheet rock, the other was a banister carved out of the stone that opened into a megalithic cylinder of empty space that the stairs seemed to descend around.

Along the giant staircase were skeletons, each one wearing different clothes and or armor.  Rusty weapons from every era clutched in their boney grip or laying on the ground around them.

Looking over the banister, Zachariah looked down for what seemed to be forever.  It was a skyscraper of distance downward to the floor.

 Zachariah suddenly realized that sunlight illuminated the strange shrine.  He turned his head to look up and saw that stories and stories up, the shrine opened to the surface.

Zachariah smiled at the sight of such majesty.  He had never left the states, never seen the pyramids or any wonder of the world, but after this, he felt confident he didn’t have to.

The roar from the deep sounded again, this time it was closer.  The sound sucked the life out of him.  Somewhere down there was a beast that could not be perceived. Zachariah was filled with fear and anticipation.

This all stopped as his right arm was grabbed and dragged upwards behind him in a painful, twisting motion that made him yelp.

It suddenly dawned on Zachariah that he had completely forgotten about the ninja who had been escorting him through the tunnels and who had chased down the hall to stop him.

The pain and twisting motion forced Zach to drop the disguise charm that Mel had given to him.  As the small trinket hit the floor, Zach’s ninja appearance dissipated and he was returned to his dirty jeans and beaten up Hawaiian shirt.

Zach tried to struggle but any direction he moved made the pain ten times worse.  The ninja held fast and in broken English said, “Relax…”

For no apparent reason, the ninja doubled over in pain as if he had been punched in the stomach.  His grip loosened on Zachariah’s arm and Zachariah took the opportunity and turned on his heels with a right hook to the ninja’s face.

The ninja staggered, confused, and Zachariah screamed in pain as his hand, broken from previously punching a rock troll, throbbed with pain.

The ninja shook off the blow looking around in confusion, trying to figure out what happened.

Zachariah danced around, cursing and cradling his hand like a football.

The ninja came back to his feet and rushed Zachariah.

Zachariah turned and saw him coming.  He closed his eyes and tensed up for the incoming blow, when the ninja tripped over nothing ad staggered forward, his arms reeling.  Zachariah again was smart enough to take the opening, and stepped in driving his knee into the ninja’s face.

The ninja staggered backward and Zachariah stepped, in throwing a quick left handed jab into his face.  The ninja took the blow and Zachariah stepped in to hit him again, but the ninja weaved around the blow and placed a knife handed chop to Zachariah’s nose.

Zach took two steps backward and grabbed his nose.  The Ninja stepped in for a roundhouse kick to Zach’s face to end the struggle.

He never connected.

Something unseen slammed into the ninja’s support leg and sent him to all fours. Zachariah took two quick steps, winding up and kicking the ninja hard to the gut like he was kicking a field goal.

The ninja wheezed and rolled away.

Zachariah smiled and started to dance around like Bruce Lee.  “Oh yeah, you like that ninja?  I told you, baby.  This is what I do!”

Zachariah then finished the impersonation of Bruce Lee by settling into his fighting stance with a wooing of his voice and a quick thumb to his nose.

The ninja stood, gritting his teeth angrily.

How was he doing this?

Is he doing this?

The ninja grinned under his mask and readied some ninja powder in his right hand.  The powder was a chalk-like substance, used to blind an opponent.  Although the use he had in mind was very different.

“Whatcha waiting for, shino-bitch?  Make your move!” Zachariah taunted.

The ninja waited and listened.  He heard the small footsteps.

The Ninja turned to his right and hurled the powder.  Like a cloud, the white substance filled the air, and then dropped.

Standing there coughing was a small, chalk covered silhouette of a very invisible Mel.

“Shit.” Mel said before the ninja stepped in and booted the extremely small man, sending him flying across the stairwell and crashing into the wall.  His invisibility spell was wearing off and he hit the wall and dropped to the ground.

Zachariah flinched in pain for Mel, his Bruce Lee stance fading.  He then slowly turned back toward the ninja.  “Shit.”

The ninja double stepped in and kicked Zachariah in the chest, sending him off his feet and backward into a pile of dead skeletons.  The brittle bones cracked and disintegrated under his weight.

Zachariah coughed and rolled, his eyes falling on a rusty sword that used to belong to one of the dead warriors.  He grinned and snatched up the weapon and scrambled to his feet before then extending the blade in front of himself at the approaching ninja.

“Ha!” Zachariah yelled as he brandished the ancient weapon.

The ninja quickly roundhouse kicked the sword out of Zachariah’s hands sending it clanking down the staircase.

“Mother fucker!” Zach yelled as the blade bounced away.

The ninja stepped in with a series of punches to Zachariah’s chest and then a chop to the face, sending Zachariah sprawling and rolling through the skeletal remains a second time.

Zachariah turned, seeing an old battle axe.  He grabbed it and stood, spinning to attack the ninja.

The ninja spin-kicked the battle axe and sent it spiraling over the banister and into the open void.

“You have got to be kidding me!” Zachariah yelled as the blade flew away from him.

The ninja stepped in and forearmed Zachariah to the face before straight-kicking him to the abdomen.  The air escaped Zach and he folded backward, rolling away from the ninja.  His vision blurry, he saw stars as he crawled away from the ninja.

The ninja confidently stalked Zachariah as he squirmed away.

Zach searched his head.  What the hell was he going to do?  He had no protection now, no real way to fight a ninja.  Zach couldn’t talk him out of kicking the crap out of him, so what now?

Zachariah’s hand touched another weapon.  Looking up, he saw it was a hefty wooden handle attached to a long piece of two foot chain which was connected to a large skull-sized, steel ball.  In medieval times it was called a flail.

He wrapped his hand around the handle and smiled.

He stood and turned again, brandishing the weapon at his ninja attacker.

The ninja stepped in and roundhouse kicked the morning star, his foot striking the steel ball head, but instead of sending the weapon flying away from Zachariah, the chain diverted the force and sent the ball spinning around the axis.  Zachariah ducked the ball as it spun 360 degrees and connected with the ninja’s left temple.

The steel ball to the temple was more than enough to send the ninja into unconsciousness.  He dropped like a rag doll to the stone floor.

Zachariah stood there.  His right eye was already swelling and a bit of blood leaked out of his now fat lip where the ninja had repeatedly chopped him.

“That’s right…” Zachariah said as he gasped for breath.  “I’m still the God damn champion.”

Zachariah dropped the weapon to the ground with a clang and began to limp over to Mel who was starting to come to.  “Get the name of that truck?”

Zachariah nodded.  “I got the name, alright, and I got it’s fucking number.”

 Mel looked at him surprised, then looked at the ninja lying on the ground then back at Zachariah.  “Now I’m starting to believe that you’re indestructible.”

“He’s not,” They turned to see Kyo standing a couple of stairs up, he snapped his fingers and a small army of ninjas appeared out of thin air around Zachariah and Mel. “And I am about to prove it.”

Next week:  So close and yet so far away!  Surrounded by ninjas, Zachariah and Mel’s accomplishment seems all for not!  Will Cathleen beat Kahn to the shrine?  And what is Zach planning to do about the monster below?

Next week find out on…

Stranger Things.

TO BE CONTINUED….

10-Way To Tall

10

Way Too Tall

Cathleen slowly came around.  Her head was pounding and her vision was blurred as she opened her eyes.

She had momentary memory loss, the kind you get after waking up from a night of binge drinking.  Suddenly, with a rush, it came back to her.  Her body surged with quick adrenaline, forcing the soreness and pain out of her mind for that second.  She remembered the ninja and the fight she had just been through and she snapped to a couched position expecting an attack.

Her instinct slowly wore off and was replaced with logic.  She realized that if someone was going to kill her they would have done it while she was knocked out.  She was where she had fallen in the middle of the upside down forest.  Zachariah and Mel were gone.

Awesome.

That was twice she had lost track of her Rognaithe, which forced her to wonder if any other druid had had such difficulty.

Zachariah continued to surprise… and annoy.

She heard a groan to her right and spun, noticing the ninja she had battled.  The ninja was slowly coming to, vulnerable.

Cathleen had a passing thought of running her through before she awoke.  It would be one less ninja in the world, one less obstacle….

****

Zachariah and Mel stared from the tree line in awe.

The forest had stopped and fifty or so yards in front of them, across a field of bright orange grass, was the opening to a temple, or at least this is what Zachariah guessed it to be.  The cave they had been traveling in stopped and a temple opening had been literally carved out of the stone face.

“That’s it.”  Mel said with a hint of fear.

Zachariah nodded.  “I kinda figured that much.”

“Somewhere inside that temple is a nearly indestructible force of magical descent.”  Mel said ominously.

Zachariah turned toward him and frowned.  “That was a little over the top, don’t you think?”

Mel shrugged.  “You’re the one that wants to walk in and say ‘hello’.  What do you want me to say?  ‘Inside is the cute cuddly wyvern who wants to eat you happily’?”

Zachariah thought about this.  “Your sarcasm has a point.”

“My sarcasm usually does,” Mel replied.

“You don’t have to come.”  Zachariah said.  “You just met me, and I’m not sure why you have stayed this long.”

Mel laughed.  “Are you kidding?  The hopes of thousands of people rest on the shoulders of a twenty-five year-old, loser, dishwasher, who lives in his dad’s basement, somehow defeating or being consumed by a wyvern.  How the hell am I going to walk away from that?”

“I want to get mad, but I see what you mean.” Zachariah grumbled.

Zachariah began to move and Mel grabbed him.  “What the hell are you doing?”

Zachariah looked confused.  “Ancient death machine, dishwasher hero?  Remember?”

Mel nodded.  “Yes, yes, I don’t mean that.  I mean all the ninjas that place is going to be crawling with.

Zachariah raised his eyebrow in question.  “How do you know that?”

“The ninja woman came alone.  Where do you think she would send the rest of them? She didn’t give them the day off.”

Zachariah saw the logic in that.  “Okay, so what do we do now?”

Mel smiled.  “I have just the trick.”

****

Kahn awoke in a rush, angry and in pain.  Standing over her was the druid who had put the pain in her.

“Morning.”  The druid said with a smirk.

Kahn tried to move and realized she couldn’t.  Her hands were bound, outstretched around the trunk of the tree her back was against.  “Damn it.”

“You’re not going anywhere, because you and I both know that ninja magic of yours needs two-handed gestures.  I have made sure your hands can’t touch.”  The woman said with knowing smile.

 “Bitch.”  Kahn growled.

“That’s the pot calling the kettle black, isn’t it?”  She asked rhetorically.  “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a prophecy to fulfill.”

The druid turned to leave and Kahn’s eyes narrowed.  “Why?”

The question, for some reason, got to her.  “What do you mean?”

“Why leave me alive?  You could have run me through while I was out,” Kahn explained.

The Celtic woman turned back toward her.  “I’m not a murderer, killer or assassin.  I am a force of good.”

“Ha!” Kahn scoffed.  “Is that what you call what you people have been doing?”

Her eyes narrowed.  “That is different.”

Kahn shook her head.  “How?  You are feeding people to a monster.”

“You kill for money!” She fired back.

Kahn only smiled.  “I also never called myself a force of good.”

The druid frowned and looked away.  Kahn knew she was getting to her.

“You know this is wrong.  The ‘needs of the many’ is and has always been a lie.”  Kahn said with force.

“You have no right to lecture me.”  She replied.

“I don’t do things for the future, I do things for the present,” Kahn began.  “Your druid leaders are not here in the present.  The hundreds you claim are in danger are not right here in the present.  The only person here in the present is you and the only thing that matters is right now, and right now you are sending an innocent man to his death.”

There was a silence after Kahn’s rant and the druid seemed to take it all in.  Finally, she took a deep breath and brought her gaze up to lock eyes with Kahn.

“I live in a bigger world then you.”  She said and then the song of the robin rang out before she vanished into thin air.

****

“..then she came up to me and said she thought Asian’s were hot.”  Shinji’s stories were always disgusting and inappropriate.  That never seemed to stop him from telling them while they were on a mission.

It seemed to be Kyo’s turn to have to endure them.

“She said she had some taxes back at her place I could do!  This Nubian princess was all over me!  She told me if I bought her another drink she would let me prove that all Asians can do kung-fu!”

 Kyo sighed, trying not to focus on how ridiculous it was to hear a man in full ninja garb speaking of things like this.  “Kung-fu?  Kung-Fu is Chinese.  You’re Japanese.”

Shinji shrugged.  “I know that, but she had an ass like… BLA DO!”

Shinji’s Japanese was perfect until the ‘Bla Do’ which was in grotesque English.  Shinji also gestured with his hands when he said it.

Kyo tried to keep his calm.  “She sounds racist.”

Shinji shrugged.  “Of course, she was black.  All black people are racist!”

Kyo’s eyes widened.  “Now you sound racist.” 

It was at that point that a third ninja in full garb walked by, but something was very interesting about this particular ninja.

He was over six feet tall.

“Hey you!” Kyo called out in Japanese, but the man kept walking

“I said you.  Stop!”  Kyo called out again in Japanese and the large ninja stopped.  He did a half turn and pointed at himself questioningly.

Kyo nodded and the ninja turned, looking awfully nervous.  “What’s your name?”

The tall ninja looked confused, then responded in Japanese.  “Monkey cheese vagina, power flower in the sun killed chunk of skunk butter scotch.”

Kyo and Shinji stared at him and he nodded at the end to emphasize his point.

“That’s Zachariah isn’t it?” Shinji asked in Japanese.

Kyo nodded. “Yep.”

“And that was him trying to speak Japanese, wasn’t it?”  Shinji asked, grinning under his mask.

Kyo nodded again.  “Yep.”

Shinji turned toward Kyo.  “Want me to kick him in the face?”

Kyo shook his head.  “Go with him and make sure he doesn’t enter the spiral.”

Shinji nodded and motioned for Zachariah to follow him and Zachariah did.

****

Mel, who was invisible next to Zachariah, stared in disbelief as the ninja on the right offered to show them the way.  “Damn, Zach.  You speak Japanese?”

Zachariah smiled.  “All that anime watching really paid off,”

Next week:  With Kahn trapped and Cathleen on her way, things look bad for Zachariah, especially since he has no idea how to speak Japanese!  Will he and Mel figure out they are being tricked?  What is the spiral?

Raishū!

Stranger Things.

TO BE CONTINUED….

  

9-Ninja – Druid – Hyper – Mega – Battle – Explosion – Bloodbath – 2005

9

Ninja – Druid – Hyper – Mega – Battle – Explosion – Bloodbath – 2005

They stood across from each other in the trees, the stale cave air was quiet and nothing moved as they sized each other up for the coming battle.  Cathleen held her saber in front of her in a standard defense, while Kahn couched low holding her ninja sword in a  back handed fashion.

“I really feel like we should be trying to stop this,” Zachariah said to Mel as they both watched intently.

“Stop this, what?” Mel came back, rather frustrated.  “They haven’t done anything.”

Zachariah shook his head.  “Don’t you see?  They are fighting the battle in their minds.”

Mel raised his eyebrow.  “Their what?”

“You know?” Zach explained.  “Haven’t you ever seen those old Kung-fu movies?”

“Can’t say that I have,” Mel replied.

“Well, they are considering the coming battle in their heads and considering every move that could possibly happen in the fight, then coming up with the best way to attack.” Zachariah said, very sure of himself.

“They are doing all that?” Mel asked, sarcastically.

“Yes.  They are mind fighting.” Zachariah said, overdramatically.

Mel turned toward Zach.  “Are you retarded?”

“Hey, assholes!”  Cathleen’s voice returned Zach and Mel’s attention to her.  “If you don’t mind shutting up for ten seconds, we have something to finish.”

When Cathleen spoke, Kahn saw her opening and moved, clearing the distance between the two of them in a matter of seconds with a quick hard side kick to Cathleen’s abdomen sending her backward through the air.

Zach and Mel groaned in sympathy pain for Cathleen.

Cathleen hit the grass and rolled backward to her feet.  She back-peddled as the ninja sprinted forward to press her advantage.  “You should be focusing on me, Druid.”

Kahn lashed out with the blade and Cathleen managed to get her own blade up, parrying the first slash, but only barely.  While she defensively scrambled backward, Kahn quickly attacked two more times, becoming a whirling tornado of blades.

The druid’s speed did not fail her and she managed to block all of the attacks as she backed into the trunk of a tree.

Kahn looked to finish it, whirling into an attack with the backhanded sword.  Cathleen had other ideas, however, and stepped in timing a head butt to strike Kahn as she spun in with her sword.

The blow caught Kahn on the temple and she staggered.

“Holy shit, she just head-butted her!” Mel yelled, watching intently.

“This is getting ugly.” Zachariah said as the two watched while commentating to themselves.

As Kahn staggered, Cathleen rolled forward coming up to her knees into a perfect thrust her blade sinking deep into Kahn’s chest.

Cathleen grinned.

“She got her?” Zachariah said in shock.

“Not yet,” Mel muttered hoping for more.

Suddenly Cathleen’s smile faded as she realized that her blade was not sunk deep into Kahn’s flesh, but instead into that of a tree trunk.

Cathleen frowned, “Damn ninja tricks!”

The druid heard a rustling of leaves and looked up just in time to see Kahn dropping out of the branches, blade first, looking for the kill.

Cathleen had to release the blade in order to escape.  Her tattoos began to dance and the robin’s song could be heard in the wind.

Cathleen vanished just before Kahn’s blade entered the top of her head.

Kahn landed and came back to her feet trying to pinpoint the druid and where she had teleported to.  She spun in a circle, catching a glimpse of the druid before she was struck in the face.

Cathleen’s right cross sent the ninja reeling.  Kahn still had the presence of mind to reach into her gee and, upon drawing back, throw a slew of ninja throwing stars through the air.

The move caught Cathleen off guard as she was reaching for her sword.  One of the stars caught her in the shoulder.

She grunted and staggered, pulling the star from her arm.  Blood began to flow behind it.

Kahn used the opportunity to do a series of quick ninja hand gestures before touching the ground.  The ground instantly became mud in a line between her hand and Cathleen’s feet.  Cathleen sunk into the ground, the quicksand taking her in.

Kahn smiled and charged, looking to finish it.

The thorny vines began to dance on Cathleen’s shoulder and suddenly, vines exploded from the ground catching Kahn’s foot.  It wasn’t enough to hold her.  Instead Kahn stumbled, her forward momentum taking her into Cathleen who caught her around the waist and bent backward, hurling Kahn through the air.  Kahn spiraled out of control before crashing sideways into a tree.

“This is literally the greatest thing I have ever seen in my life.” Mel said, watching in awe.

“It’s like a dude walking into the road in front of a car.  You know you should warn him, but you can’t help but watch,” Zachariah mumbled.

Kahn came back to her hands and knees trying to shake off the force of the blow. Cathleen pulled violently to free herself from the mud, desperately trying to get her sword back.  Kahn looked for her weapon but it had been hurled somewhere into the forest.

She heard the robin’s song.  “Damn it!”

Kahn turned her head as Cathleen appeared over her, sword in hand and fire in her eyes.

She reacted, barely rolling out of the way as Cathleen stabbed for the kill.  Kahn reached into her robes again and hit the ground with what appeared to be a ping pong ball.

Smoke exploded everywhere, clouding Cathleen’s attack and making her cough.  She choked on the cloud.

Kahn used the time to strike, kicking Cathleen in the gut then following with two quick forearms to Cathleen’s face.  Cathleen staggered, feeling her lip cut and beginning to bleed.

“What is going on?” Zachariah said, trying to see into the cloud of smoke.

“Fucking ninjas and their smoke bombs.  Just when it was getting good.” Mel complained.

Cathleen gritted her teeth and rolled backward, narrowly avoiding another barrage of attacks.  She rolled again and came out of the smoke, finally able to see again.

She vaguely heard Mel and Zachariah clapping.

“Man, this makes everything with the troll worth it,” Mel commented.

“I wish I had some popcorn,” Zachariah replied.

She turned back to the cloud and another group of ninja stars came whizzing out in her direction.  With a sweep of her blade, she knocked two of them out of the air.  The third however, found its mark in her gut.

Yet again, she grunted in pain.  This time she had no time to pull it out as Kahn exploded from the smoke in a blur.

Cathleen stepped in and thrust her blade at Kahn as she charged.  Kahn nimbly leapt into the air somersaulting over Cathleen’s head and landing behind her before spinning and snap-kicking Cathleen in the spine.

Cathleen staggered forward and Kahn advanced.  Cathleen, however, fought through the pain and spun, stabbing into Kahn’s neck.

Again, it was not Kahn.  It was a tree.  The ninja’s hypnotic tricks worked on Cathleen once more.

Kahn dropped from above Cathleen again.

Cathleen would not be fooled a second time, grabbing the ninja star out of her own gut, she spun and hurled it upwards at the descending ninja.

Kahn was completely taken off guard by the attack and the star imbedded itself deep into her abdomen.

Cathleen then called all her remaining adrenaline to catch Kahn on her shoulder before charging the ninja back first into a tree.  All the air escaped Kahn as she crashed into the trunk.

Cathleen stood up and struck Kahn with a devastating right cross.  Kahn’s face took the full brunt of the blow and her mask sailed into the air reveling her bruised and beaten face.  Cathleen wound up and put everything into a left hook, the blow catching all of Kahn’s head.

The ninja woman rocked back and forth with the blow and then toppled to the side, crashing to the ground.

Cathleen stood there for a second, the blood freely flowing out of her shoulder and abdomen.  “I… win…”

Cathleen’s eyes rolled back in her head and she toppled backward crashing to the grass.

Mel began a slow clap.

When he finished, he looked at Zachariah with a smile.  “Looks like your problems just killed the shit out of each other.”

Zachariah didn’t answer.  His problems were far from dead.  They waited for him back home.  They waited hungry and eager for him to return to his life of pathetic mediocrity.

“So, I’ll show you the way out and we can-” Mel began but Zach interrupted him.

“Can you take me to Zersch?” Zachariah asked.

Mel’s eyes went wide in confusion.  “Why in God’s name would you want to go there? Jesus man, have you been listening?  Do you understand what’s going on?”

Zachariah turned.  “I want to see it.  I have to see it with my own eyes.”

Mel stared at him.  “But it’s going to kill you.”

“Maybe.”  Zachariah shrugged.  “Maybe not…  I’m starting to believe I’m indestructible.”

Next week:  Is Zachariah trying to get himself killed or does he really believe he’s indestructible?  Either way, his resolve to face the wyvern known as Zersch seems to be an absolute, but is this lowly dishwasher really ready for the final challenges?

Zachariah descends next time!

Stranger Things.

TO BE CONTINUED….