6-Down She Goes

6

Down she goes.

Cathleen vanished.

Zachariah yelled at Mel.  “Now!  Do it now!”

Mel hurled his arm forward, forcefully and a burst of strong wind hit the shale around the troll’s feet.  The shale bounced and skipped off itself and the click clack noise it made echoed throughout the cave.  The troll suddenly became confused.

Cathleen appeared in a blur above the troll.  This time the troll wasn’t ready for her.  She stabbed downward as she dropped onto the trolls back, the blade entering the beast’s eye and exiting through the back of its massive head.

It whirled and Cathleen flew through the air crashing to the shale.  The mighty beast seemed to stumble and stagger, roaring and screaming out of instinct.  The adrenaline wore off, finally, and the rock troll crashed to the ground.

It gave a final whimper and then it was dead.

There was a short silence of contemplation at the battle fought, and the fact that they had all survived.

It was broken by Zachariah screaming at the top of his lungs.  “What’s up now, troll? HUH?  Fucked your day all to hell, didn’t we?”

Mel and Cathleen both looked at Zach, frowning.  His smile faded.  “What?  We did fuck him up good.”

Mel raised an eyebrow.  “I don’t understand how she hit him.  She was losing and then I moved the shale and she hit.  I don’t get it?”

 Zachariah smiled.  “It’s like you said, the troll uses its hearing to do just about everything.  Well, the only reason Cathleen hadn’t made minced meat of it was because her robin tattoo makes a bunch of chirping noises when she uses it.  She could teleport all day but the troll would have followed her.”

Mel laughed out loud.  “The shale masked the chirp so the troll couldn’t follow her.”

Zachariah clapped in joy.  “And they said I was never going to amount to anything.”

Mel looked confused.  “I don’t understand how this changes that.  Surviving a troll encounter doesn’t exactly help you amount to anything.”

Zachariah’s face dropped.  “Thanks.  Glad I helped you survive.”

Mel shook his head.  “Oh, so you cast the spell that got us out of the pit?”

Zachariah frowned.  “No, but-”

Mel continued.  “In that case, you cast the spell to move the shale?”

Zachariah jabbed his figure down at Mel.  “It was my idea!”

Mel jabbed his finger back at Zachariah.  “I bent reality to make your silly idea happen, long legs!”

“Stop calling me ‘long legs’, you little shit!”  Zachariah replied angrily.  “It’s fucking racist!”

Mel scoffed.  “No, it’s not.  Its prejudice, you infernal twit!  Racism would be if I said something about the color of your skin.”

Zachariah’s eyes narrowed.  “I want to punt you like a football.”

“I want to punch your balls like a timing bag.”  Mel responded, his own eyes narrowing.

Zachariah’s face scrunched up in anger.

In that silence, Cathleen’s weak voice cut the air.  “You shouldn’t have been able to do that.”

They both turned to see the pale Celtic Druid woman standing with wide, lost eyes.  “That was my job…”

Cathleen suddenly fell forward.  Zachariah and Mel watched as she crashed, face first, into the shale.

“Nice catch.”  Mel said to Zachariah, sarcastically.

Zachariah frowned.  “I didn’t see you trying to break her fall.”

Mel frowned at him.  “Don’t be a dick.  I break her fall, I need an E.R.”

Zachariah couldn’t help but smile as they both knelt down and rolled her over.

Mel examined her.  “She’s just got spell exhaustion.  She just needs rest.”

Zachariah nodded back to him.  “Alright, let’s make her comfortable.  I’m gonna see what’s in this cave.  Maybe some firewood so we can warm up.”

Mel nodded.  Both men were soaked and starting to feel the chill in the air as their adrenaline dropped.

Zachariah didn’t know what was waiting for him…

****

Walking around the alcove, a lot of thoughts circled Zachariah’s head.

In the last two hours, he had been kicked by ninjas, kidnapped by a druid, met a dwarf, spell caster and helped kill a rock troll.

Now it was becoming apparent he was supposed to somehow fight a wyvern of some sort.

It had been a lot to process.

One word kept repeating in his head.  “Run.”

He could just go, get the hell away from all of this.  After all, what was a loser like him going to do against a wyvern.  He still hadn’t figured out why they had even chosen a jack ass like him in the first place.

It didn’t really matter though, Zachariah couldn’t run.

He couldn’t run for a slew of reasons, the obvious being that he was in a cave, apparently inhabited by a series of magical creatures that wanted nothing more than to kill, maim, and/or eat him.  Of course, then there was the fact that even if he got through all of that, he was at an undisclosed location in the Canadian wilderness, hundreds of miles from his home.

As compelling as these reasons were, they weren’t what kept Zachariah from running.

He had to find out.

His life had been bullshit and crap up to this point.  His only escape had been the role playing games he passed his time with and the stories he failed to write.  But in the end, life had turned out to be a mundane list of failures, one after the other.

Rockford had been right, and Zachariah hated him for it.

But now, something amazing had dropped into his life and he had the chance to be involved in something truly amazing.

Was life beautiful after all?

Probably not, but maybe it was more fun than he had thought it would be.

It was at this point Zachariah realized he was surrounded by ninjas, having completely lost track of his surroundings during his internal rant.

Zachariah’s shoulders sagged.  “Shit.”

The one female ninja stepped out in front of him.  “You are surrounded.  It is time you surrender.”

Zach seemed to consider this.  “You know what?”

Zach grabbed hold of one of the wet roots he had collected to attempt making a fire, and raised it above his head like a weapon.  “I just killed a fucking rock troll, so I’m feeling pretty damn lucky.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”  The ninja woman said.

“No, no.  I got this.”  Zachariah said, whipping the root back in forth through the air as he spoke.  “Now who wants a piece of my root, eh?  How ‘bout you, Kung Pow?”

Zachariah pointed at one of the ninja.  “You feeling froggy?”

The ninja he pointed at became confused and pointed at himself as if to ask, who me?

“Yeah, you, crab rangoon.”  Zachariah said, stepping up to the randomly selected ninja.  “You look like you want to try to take the title, huh?”

“The title?”  The ninja asked, confused.

“You want a shot at the champ?”  Zachariah asked, sticking his chin into the air as if he were a gangster.

“What are you the champion of?”  The ninja asked.

“Kicking ninja ass.”  Zachariah answered.

“Are you asking me if I would like to become the champion of kicking my own ass?” The ninja asked.

Zachariah seemed to consider this.

The female ninja sighed and shook her head.

“Alright,” Zachariah said.  “The metaphor isn’t air tight, but I think you get what I’m trying to say.”

“I’m sorry.”  The ninja said politely, “I really don’t.”

Zachariah raised his eyebrow.  “Well, let me clear it up.  I am going to kick your ass.”

Zach poked the ninja with the dilapidated root.

In under a second, the ninja snatched the root from Zach and slapped him in the face.

The rest of the ninjas snickered.

“Enough.”  The female ninja said, angrily.  “We didn’t come here to do this.  I came to speak with you, Rognaithe.”

“Fuck that and fuck you!”  Zachariah yelled, rubbing his cheek.  “He pointed at the ninja who had slapped him.  “I want to see him try that shit again!”

The ninja slapped Zachariah.

“Mother fucker!”  Zachariah yelled, grabbing his cheek again.  “How the fuck are you doing that?  Seriously?”

The ninja shrugged and Zachariah turned to Kahn.  “I literally did not see him move.”

Zachariah nodded.  “That is good, I have to admit.  Hen, I’m beat, I’m beat!”

Zachariah extended his hand.  “Okay, shake hands and let’s call it settled.”

The ninja nodded and extended his hand.

Zachariah slapped him.

“Yeah, that’s what you get!  Welcome to Zachariah’s house, bitch!”  Zachariah’s celebration was cut short.

He was unsure as to whether or not the ninja had kicked or punched him, but either way he was hit and everything went black.

Next week:  Zachariah is in the ninja’s hands, now!  What does Kahn have in store for our hero?  Will Cathleen wake up in time to rescue him and, will he want to be rescued if she does?  Did Zach deserve all those slaps (spoiler-he totally did)?

It all continues next week!

Stranger things

TO BE CONTINUED….

5-She's Back...woohoo

5

She’s Back….Woohoo.

“FUCK ME!” Zach screamed and grabbed his hand in pain.

The troll reared back slightly, but not out of pain.  Zach was positive he had not hurt the great beast.  Instead, he had just broken his own hand.  The troll had reared back out of surprise.

It was shocked by the blow to its face.  It shook its head as if that had never happened before.  Zach had a funny feeling that the rock troll’s prey had never attempted to deck it in the face.

“Did you just punch a rock troll in the face?”  Mel asked with a look of shock on his face.

Zachariah was still holding his throbbing hand.  “You said to stall it!”

“I didn’t mean for you to punch it in the face!”  Mel yelled back, still shocked.

“Well I was going to sing it a show tune, but I wasn’t sure he’d like that.  WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU WANT ME TO DO?!” Zach sarcastically screamed back.

Zach looked up at the troll, who looked back down with its pupil-less white eyes as if to ask sarcastically, ‘really?’  Zachariah shrugged in response to the perceived sarcasm as if to say, ‘Sure why not?’

The troll had enough and roared again, pulling its hand back and striking downwards with one punch.  “MOVE!”

Mel’s scream forced Zach to leap to the side at the last minute as the troll’s giant, grey, muscle-laden arm slammed into the ground with thousands of pounds of pressure.  The unstoppable force hit the ground and it shattered.  Zachariah’s eyes went wide as the ground gave away under him, Mel and the rock troll.

Zachariah’s brain had time to spew out one thought…

Falling again?  Are you kidding me?

****

Kahn stared into the blackness that stretched out in front of her and she smiled.  It is the trap of a rock troll and it appeared that the Rognaithe had fallen in.

“Master.  It appears the Druid followed the Rognaithe down.”  The Ninja known as Hikashi spoke behind Kahn.

“Indeed,” Kahn spoke back to her soldier.  “It does appear that way.”

“Should we follow?” Hikashi asked.

“Why should we?”  Ikaru spoke up to Kahn’s left.  “If the Rognaithe is eaten by the troll, it only makes our job easier.  The druid doesn’t matter.”

“True,” Kahn said settling the argument before it got started.  “If the Rognaithe dies in the troll’s lair, our job is done.  But we must make sure, one way or the other.  Follow.  I know another way.  We will head them off, should they be successful.”

Her shoulders gave a ‘Yes, Sir’, and they vanished into the shadows.

****

In the movies, people fall into water all the time.  In fact, it seemed to Zachariah that every time a movie or T.V. show writer needed a way out, the hero would make some giant leap into water and as long he fell into the water, he was fine.  When a villain falls backward into water, no matter how high from which he falls, they always come back to get revenge.

Zachariah realized as he hit the underground lake, forty feet below, that this fact about water was, in fact, a total lie.

Zachariah hit the surface of the water and it felt like he was crashing through a plate glass window.  The force sent a numbing shock wave through his body.  The water flooded into his mouth and nose, since they had been previously open in a hopeless scream.  The water tasted like minerals and rust.

His breath left him and Zachariah began to paw and kick to reach the surface.  His broken hand throbbed and his body ached from the force of the landing, but the pain in his chest drove him on.  His thoughts fled from his head until all he could think about was his desperate need to breath.

Suddenly, he broken the surface and gasped, flooding his lungs with sweet, life-giving oxygen.  He paddled there keeping himself afloat while he looked around.  He was in an open alcove, floating in a small underground lake created from dripping water around the edges of the cave.  The whole place was lit by a weird bluish glow that seemed to come from the walls.

Zachariah was, for a brief moment, lost in the awe of how beautiful the place was.

The bewilderment of the place was replaced by the realization that the water he floated in was ice cold, and so Zachariah began to slowly kick and paddle for the shore.  As he did, he began to look around for Mel and couldn’t see anything.  This bothered Zachariah to his core.  He had only known Mel for a small time but he felt a kinship after what they had gone through together.

Mel had saved his life.

So he thought.

As Zachariah closed in on the shore, the water around him began to be disturbed.  He was trying to figure out what was going on by peering into the water around him.  He couldn’t make anything out in the foggy water at first, but slowly a shadow came to view.

By the time Zach figured out what it was, it was too late.

****

Cathleen moved down the walls as fast as she safely could.  She could hear the insanity below her, two voices screaming at each other, and the rock troll’s roaring.  She was sure she was on the right track because through it all, she could clearly hear the Rognaithe’s voice.

This Zachariah was very, very loud.  So much so, that she wondered how he had any friends.

She decided he couldn’t possibly have any.  Who would put up with him?

She didn’t recognize the other voice.  Then she heard a loud rumbling noise, like rocks falling.  Cathleen became nervous as she tried to move faster.

She heard the Rognaithe’s scream, then silence.  This was not good.

Would she be the first in nearly seven hundred years to fail?  Had the Rognaithe met his demise at the hands of a stupid rock troll?  Would Zersch awaken after all.

She could now see a blue luminescent light at the bottom of the hole.  As she got closer, she realized they had fallen through into an underground alcove.  She peeked out while hanging from the edge of the hole.

Cathleen let out a sigh of relief as she could see the Rognaithe swimming for the shore. He was still alive.  Cathleen had not failed, yet.

Her relief turned to despair as she saw the rock troll under the water, a huge shadow moving to swallow Zachariah and end this journey before it began.

Cathleen steeled herself and let go.  This was what she was here for.

Her tattoos began to dance.

****

The water exploded around Zachariah and he was flung through the air all the way to the shoreline.  He crashed into the shale covered shore, rolling through the thin rocks.

He came to a stop and coughed the dust, water and pain from his lungs.  He heard the roar but already knew what it belonged to.  “You have got to be kidding me.”

The rock troll stepped out of the water and growled toward him.  Its muscle covered body was covered in grey, thick, now wet fur.  It had long backward sloped ears like a bat, and no legs or feet, just four arms and four hands, using two of them to walk and the other two to flex and ball in front of it.

Its whole body moved and seemed to slide like that of a predator ready to pounce on cornered prey.

A flash of light, Cathleen appeared in front of the rock troll and Zachariah suddenly heard a faint robin’s call.  The troll seemed to be shocked and Cathleen moved in, stabbing her sword into the top of one of the troll’s standing hands.  It roared in pain and staggered.

Cathleen turned and screamed.  “RUN!  HIDE!”

Then she vanished again, appearing on the back of the troll.  Sword in hand, she raised it and tried to drive it downward into the troll’s head.  The troll moved just in time and she only managed to catch its shoulder.

The troll reared back and threw itself forward and Cathleen went flying through the air. She tucked and hit the ground with grace and agility rolling to her feet to face the beast again.

Zachariah hadn’t yet begun to run or to hide as he was told.  This was partly because of shock and partly because he really had no idea where to run or hide.  Instead, he just kind of looked around, standing there confused.

Cathleen screamed to run and hide again as the rock troll charged her, but it was really a moot point now.  His eyes set finally on Mel.  He was crawling out of the water, nearly twenty yards behind him.

Zachariah sprinted over to him and fell to the ground next to him.  “Mel, you made it!”

“Yeah, I guess I did.”  Mel said, between ragged breaths as he fell to his back in exhaustion.

Zachariah raised his eyebrow.  “Wow, you are really out of breath.”

Mel’s eyes opened then narrowed on Zachariah.  “Do I look like I would be a naturally strong swimmer?”

Zachariah raised his hands in surrender.  “I didn’t mean anything by it!”

“Sure,” Mel said sarcastically.  “What happened to the troll?”

Zachariah suddenly remembered about Cathleen and the troll.  “Oh shit!”

He stood and turned.  Mel did the same and they both saw the fight between the druid and the troll.

Cathleen vanished again and again, appearing and taking a chunk of flesh out of the troll’s hide.  The troll would counter and just miss with a powerful blow.

Zachariah grinned.  “She’s picking it apart.”

Mel’s face was stern.  “She’s going to lose.”

Zachariah looked at him.  “What?  How do you figure?”

Mel shook his head.  “The druid rune magic takes an incredible toll on the body.  She can’t keep that pace up.  The fact that she cast that many spells without passing out is amazing, but in the end she’s not doing enough damage and its going to catch her.”

Sure enough, the Tattoos dancing around Cathleen’s body were fading.  She was in trouble…

“How can we help?” Zachariah asked as the troll slammed the ground, barely missing the Celtic woman.

Mel nodded.  “We make sure her sacrifice is not in vain.”

Zachariah looked confused.  “What?”

“We get the fuck out of here.” Mel said, as he turned to walk away.

Zachariah turned and caught him just in time.  “What?  Where the fuck are you going?”

Mel frowned and turned.  “What you want me to do?  Bite its ankles?”

“We have to do something!”  Zachariah yelled at him.

“I am doing something.  I’m using the opening to get out of here.  That troll had dinner.  I’m not going to be his desert.”

Mel pulled away and began to walk away.  Zachariah sighed in desperation and turned back to the fight.  The troll was catching up.  It spun and hit the ground a half second before Cathleen could teleport again.  The blow rocked her.  She made a loud yelp of pain and flew through the air, hitting the shale and sliding to the wall.

She slowly began to pick herself up.  She was taking big gasps and sweat was pouring from her brow.

I can’t let her die.

Zach suddenly began to remember…

I can’t let her fall.

Why was that important?

I can’t let her… fall.

 Zach spun one more time and chased down Mel.  He grabbed him and spun him.

“Hey!  Fuck off, already!”  Mel yelled.

“Mel, you told me in the beginning when I fell down the hole that the troll knew I had fallen down the hole.  That it could hear the vibrations.  What did you mean?” Zachariah yelled at him.

Mel frowned confused.  “That’s how it hunts.  Hell, that’s how it see’s.  Those ears sense vibrations.”

Zachariah stared and him, his face contorted in thought.  “So its eyes…?”

Mel Shrugged.  “Just for show.”

Zachariah turned and looked at the troll.  Cathleen wasn’t moving.  Mel wasn’t moving and Zachariah wasn’t moving, but neither was the troll.  It was waiting.  Waiting to hear its prey.

Cathleen brought herself to her feet and prepared to attack.  Zach turned toward Mel. “Listen, can you make all those rocks around its feet move?  Just for a second?”

Mel shrugged, “Sure I could but I-”

Zachariah saw Cathleen’s tattoo began to glow and heard the robin’s call and he cut off Mel mid sentence.  “Do it! DO IT NOW!”

Next week:  Cathleen makes one final attempt to slay the mighty beast, but can she make it count?  Has Zachariah figured out a way to help the Celtic druid warrior, and even if they survive, how will they deal with the ninja ambush?

All that and more!  Next week!

Stranger things

TO BE CONTINUED….

4- To Stall Or Not To Stall?

4

To Stall or not to Stall?

“A what?” Zachariah asked in absolute confusion.

Mel turned toward him.  “A rock troll.  It’s going to eat us if we don’t get out of this hole.  Don’t tell me you have never heard of one before?”

Zachariah became sarcastic.  “Well, I did tend to sleep through my science class.  I must have missed that chapter on rock trolls.”

Mel’s eyes narrowed as he stared at Zachariah, as if trying to figure something out.  “You’re not a ‘nex’, are you?”

Zachariah looked defeated, “A science-fiction, soft porno show?”

Mel shook his head.  “No that was lexx.  A nex… a wizard, shaman, adept user of the magical arts?”

Zachariah stared at him.  “I’m good at poker.  Does that count?”

Now Mel looked defeated.  “Damn!  Two nexes might have been able to figure something out, but alone I have tried everything to get out of this hole and it seems hopeless.”

It was at this point that Zachariah seemed to realize that they were in a deep dark hole with no visible light source, but yet he could see.  In fact, a blue light seemed to illuminate the entire pit, but Zach could not, for the life of him, figure out where it was coming from.

Suddenly, it dawned on him.  “Is that light coming from you?”

Mel raised an eyebrow.  “Where else would it be coming from?”

Zachariah shook his head.  “Of course!  My bad.  I forgot in this new world I’ve ended up in that dwarfs that create light!”

Mel’s eyes narrowed.  “Watch it, long legs.  I have a limit.”

Zachariah nodded.  “Yeah, so do I!  In the last twenty minutes I have been attacked by a ninja, kidnapped by a walking Celtic light show and trapped by a rock troll in a hole with a glowing dwarf.  So fuck you, little man.  And fuck your glowing forehead!”

Mel seemed to ignore Zachariah’s rant.  “Ninjas and a Celtic light show?  Was the light show a woman covered in dancing tattoos?”

Zachariah calmed down.  “Yeah, yeah she was.”

Mel’s face cocked into a half smile.  “When she was fighting the ninja, did you hear any Gaelic words getting thrown around?  Like maybe Rognaithe?”

Zachariah walked over to Mel and sat down in front of him.  “Yes! That word.  Everyone kept calling me that!”

Mel laughed out loud.  “You’re the Rognaithe!  That explains everything!”

“Not to me, it doesn’t.  How about sharing?”  Zachariah said.  He was almost salivating at the thought of understanding something of what was happening to him.

Mel shrugged.  “Why not?  Nothing else to do till the troll gets here to eat us.”

Zachariah frowned, having forgotten about that part.  “Thanks for reminding me about that one.”

Mel ignored him and began.  “Okay, so years ago back in 1492, the last of the wyverns, Zersch, was brought down, but not killed…”

Zachariah raised his eyebrow.  “That’s a hell of a start.”

“Who’s telling the story?”  Mel asked angrily.  Zachariah put up his hands in defeat, and Mel continued.  “So, it was put to sleep by the druids, a secret order of elemental nexes. They did it by putting some kind of curse on it.  Not really sure how the curse worked, but anyway, enter Columbus…”

“Christopher Columbus?” Zach asked baffled.

“Yeah,” Mel said, frustrated with the interruptions.

“Columbus was a druid?” Zachariah asked.

Mel shook his head, “No, but he was anti-wyvern.”

Zachariah shrugged as if to accept this and Mel continued.  “So, Columbus set sail with the three ships in order to banish Zersch.  After arriving in America, the druids split off from Columbus and took the beast as far northwest as they could and buried it deep within the ground, in a series of caves.”

Zachariah was nodding as he tried to soak in the knowledge.  “What about the ninja?”

“That’s the kaze clan.”  Mel explained.  “They are everywhere, infecting every society, influencing officials and governments with magic and secrecy.  They have a long standing feud with the druids.”

“Why?” Zach asked.

Mel shrugged, “It’s a secret.”

Zachariah scowled, “Cute.”

 Mel grinned at his joke.  “The ninjas-”

Zachariah interrupted.  “I’m pretty sure that ninjas isn’t a word.”

Mel frowned.  “What am I supposed to say?  Ninji?”

“No you just say the word, like it’s its own pluralization.” Zachariah responded unsure.

Mel shrugged.  “Alright, the ninja, tagged along and have been trying to stop them ever since.”

“The ninja were on the boat with Columbus?” Zachariah asked.

Mel nodded.  “What did you think happed to the other two ships?”

“That was ninja?”  Zachariah asked.

Mel nodded.

Zachariah seemed to contemplate this.  “So, the druids of Europe secretly got Christopher Columbus to go to America to hide the last wyvern, who was named Zersch, while fighting off a ninja clan?”

 Mel took it in.  “Yeah, that about sums it up.”

Zachariah found himself actually having a hard time not believing it all.  After the day he had, why wouldn’t he?  It was at that point he came up with another and most important question.

“So, if everything you say is true,” Zachariah began.  “Then how the fuck do I fit in?  And what the hell is a Rognaithe?”

“Rognaithe is gaelic for ‘chosen one’.  According to this spell the druids cast on Zersch, once every hundred years he can wake up and break the spell, but this is where it gets fuzzy.” Mel answered.

Zachariah raised his eyebrow.  “Fuzzy?”

“Well the way I understand it,” Mel explained, “every one hundred years, Zersch wakes up and the druids choose one normal person.  That person somehow puts Zersch back to sleep.”

Zachariah stared at him.

“What?  Look, I don’t know what that entails.  I just know that’s the way it works.” Mel said.

Zachariah stared at him.

“Stop that.”  Mel said clearly.

“So I have to fight a wyvern?” Zachariah asked.

Mel shrugged.  “I guess so, yeah.”

Zachariah stood.  “Fuck that!”

That’s when they heard it.  A roar from high above them with such guttural volume, the pit shook.

Mel and Zach’s eyes went up, even though they could see nothing yet.

“It’s here.”  Mel whispered ominously.

Zachariah turned toward him and blinked.  “What gave you that idea?”

Mel frowned back.  “You want to go out like that?  With bad sarcasm?”

Zachariah shrugged and whispered back.  “Why not?  It’s how I came in.”

Mel eyes brightened.  “That’s it!”

He dropped to the floor of the pit and put his ear to the ground.  Zachariah turned and looked down at the funny little man.

“What the hell are you doing?” Zachariah asked.

“Saving us, or killing us.  It’s a craps shoot, really.” Mel said as he placed his hands together and rubbed them back and forth as if trying to warm himself up.  He then placed them against the ground.

“It’s gonna take a minute.  Stall it.”  Mel said and began to concentrate on the ground.

“Stall it?!” Zachariah yelped.

They could hear it moving now, down the sides of the tunnel.  As whatever it was approached, Zachariah could tell it was big.

“Yes.  Stall.  S-T-A-L-L.  A verb, meaning to delay for your own purposes.  STALL IT!”  Mel yelled at him as he resumed concentrating.

 Zachariah spun and looked up again.  The sound of it rushing down the caverns was so close, Zach felt he could reach out, just beyond the dark, and touch it.

It was coming.

Zachariah froze, staring into the void.

****

Her stomach dropped and she felt sick.  She was standing in front of a large, fifteen foot in diameter, hole that seemed to have no bottom.  Cathleen knew better then to think it was natural.

A rock troll.

This was just one of the problems confronting her.  When an entity of extreme magical power resides in one place, it creates what the druids call a garden.  The plants, animals, ground, and even the air would be super charged with the magic run off of the sleeping monster below.

This effect had a tendency to attach other magical beings, creatures and people looking to use the power of the garden to make themselves stronger.

Nex energy would be stronger here, the spells more potent.

Monsters could hunt here.  Because of the magic, the game would be the most fruitful.

Suddenly she heard it.  It was far down and barely discernable but there, none the less. The roar of a rock troll laying claim to it’s prey.  It was telling all others to back off while it ate.

The meal would be the idiot, Zachariah.

The meal was the Rognaithe.

She took a deep breath.  This is what she had trained for.  With that, she continued down the hole, moving along the wall as fast as she could.

She had to get there in time.

 ****

Suddenly, the shadows seemed to come together in the darkness that hovered above Zachariah.  He could feel its breath, hot and sticky, wet with the salivation at the prospect of its meal.

 What the hell do I do?

Zachariah’s brain scrambled to find a suitable action; some way of beating back the inevitable doom that loomed over his and Mel’s heads.

I wear Hawaiian shirts…

It moved into the light, a dark, huge face with large pupil-less white eyes and a huge nose.  It almost looked like an ape or gorilla.  Its skin was grey and thick and looked to be as hard as the rock in which it lived.

I eat too much pizza and kiss the wrong women…

Its large nose sniffed twice as if making sure its prey was edible.  It seemed to decide Zachariah was worth eating and its mouth opened slowly.

Do I want it to end?  I could let it end here?

The gap was the size of Zachariah’s head and its jagged teeth seemed to be carved out of stone.  Saliva and slime dripped from its mouth and onto Zachariah’s shoulder as it hovered above him.

Rage against the dying of the light.

Zachariah had no idea where that little bit of poem came from but it seemed to break his paralytic state.  The creators head darted down in order swallow Zachariah’s head whole.

Zachariah reacted on instinct.

He punched it square in the eye.

Next week:  OH NO HE DIDN’T!  But in fact, he did!  Zachariah and Mel fight for their lives to survive against a monster from Zachariah’s worst nightmare…D&D!  Can Cathleen get there in time or does it end in the dark?

Find out next week!

Stranger things

TO BE CONTINUED….

3- Down the Hole

3

Down The Hole

There are things in this universe that are beyond understanding or comprehension. When something like this happens to a human without the ability to comprehend the information that is being shown to him or her, the brain has very peculiar and very human response.

It guesses.

So, when Cathleen, the tattooed Celtic warrior woman, grabbed Zachariah and used her robin tattoo to teleport the two of them across miles of earth in the span of a second, Zachariah’s brain had to deal with moving through time and space in a way that was incomprehensible.

So for that second, Zach felt like he was taking a shower.

This feeling quickly ended as he hit the ground with a thud and rolled a couple of feet before coming to a stop, breathless.

His chest hurt, his head pounded, and he felt like he should dry off for some reason.

“The headache passes.”  The voice of the Celtic woman snapped Zachariah out of his pained daze.

Zachariah scrambled to his feet in a panicked rush trying to get his bearings.  He did a quick spin and then saw her and stopped.  Zachariah was standing in a clearing of knee high grass, surrounded by heavy forest.  In the distance, Zachariah could see rocky, rolling mountain-like terrain.  The landscape had completely changed.

He wasn’t in Ohio.  Nowhere near.

The Celtic warrior stood four feet in front of him.  Her tattoos had stopped glowing.  “Calm yourself, we are safe for a time.”

Zachariah raised his eyebrow.  “Oh, so we are safe?”

“Yes.”  She said.

“From the ninjas?”  Zachariah asked.

She didn’t catch on to his sarcasm. “Yes, they can’t follow that fast.”

It was at this point that Zachariah’s mind was flooded with the million, very important questions that had arisen from the events of the last five minutes.  Due to the stress however, his thinking organ was unable to rationally regulate the order in which Zachariah asked all these questions, so instead he tried to ask them all at the same time.

“ What, to me you, how and, how did they with that no, no, I think, could you, I mean, can you, why would she do that, where are, who are….nope.”  Zachariah finally stopped in order to not hyperventilate.

There was a thirty second confused pause.

Cathleen shook her head.  “I didn’t catch any of that,”

Zachariah shook his head.  “Didn’t expect you to.”

“My name is Cathleen.”  The Celtic woman took a passive and warming voice that didn’t suit her.  “I am here to guarantee your safety”

Zachariah did a double take.  “Do you even know what the word ‘safety’ means?!”

Cathleen frowned again.  “Well, you’re alive, aren’t you?”

Zachariah threw his hands up.  “Honestly, I have no idea!  I don’t think I have gathered enough information on the subject to know!  Where are we?”

“The Canadian wilderness,” She answered.  “You are the Roghnaithe, and you have to be here.  It is your destiny.”

Zachariah felt the wind exit him as if he had been punched.  “The Canadian wilderness? Are you fucking kidding me?!”

Cathleen seemed to take a deep breath.  “Look… Help me help you.”

Zachariah stopped and stared.  “Jerry Maguire.”

Cathleen looked confused.  “Who?”

“Oh come on!  It’s the movie that quote is from!”  Zachariah yelled, angrily.

Cathleen frowned.  “I don’t watch movies!”

“Screw it, I’m outta here!”  Zachariah said, giving up.

Cathleen shook her head.  “To where?  You need to come with me.  I’m-”

Zachariah cut her off.  “Why should I trust you?  The Ninja told me you were trying to kill me!”

Cathleen looked surprised.  “You trust the Ninja?”

Zachariah stopped and shrugged.  “You have a point.”

Cathleen took a step forward.  “Come now, we have to go.”

Zachariah shutter-stepped backwards.  “Not a chance.  Fuck that and fuck you, pirate hooker!”

Cathleen’s eyes narrowed.  “I AM NOT A PIRATE!”

“‘Pirate’ was the part of that you found offensive?” Zachariah asked.

Cathleen huffed and took a step forward and Zachariah turned and bolted into the trees.  Cathleen took a deep breath and shook her head, then began to walk after him.

****

She called out to him.  “I just fought three Ninjas.  What makes you think you can out run me?”

“I’m wily!”  He screamed back as he trampled through the trees like a bull.

Zachariah knew he couldn’t outrun her.  He wasn’t stupid.  What he needed was time. Time to devise a plan.  Time to think.  Time to understand what the hell was going on.

James Garner had left this part out.

Suddenly, Zachariah’s priorities changed as his right foot failed to find ground, and in the next instant he fell forward through the loose shrubs that covered a large hole in the ground.

He toppled into darkness and the light of day vanished as he fell.

Zach was falling.

He quickly tried to find a way to stop this by reaching out in all directions.  His right hand caught the wall, but he was moving so fast that the wall almost ripped his arm off and sent his full body spinning.

Zach was falling and spinning.

Awesome.

Something caught him and snapped under his weight, like a vine of some sort.  Then it happened again over and over as if he was falling through a web of vines, each slowing his fall into he hit the bottom with a thud and an ‘oof’.

Every part of his body was sore.  He slowly coughed trying to get the air back in his lungs.  As he did, he inhaled some kind of wretched smell, which seemed to make him cough more.  His headache had not dissipated, contrary to what Cathleen had said.

Most would still consider themselves lucky to be alive.

Zachariah was not one of those people.

“Man did you pick the wrong hole to fall down.”  A voice rang through the darkness.  It was male but a slightly higher tone.

Zachariah recoiled and narrowed his eyes trying to see through the blackness.  Abruptly, a blue light illuminated the dark and standing before Zachariah was a man of extremely short stature who was obviously afflicted with dwarfism.  He was wearing blue jeans and a polo shirt, both custom made for his size.  He had long brown hair tied in a loose pony tail.

Zachariah stared in bewilderment.  “Who are you?”

“My name’s Mel.”  He said and extended his hand.

Zachariah looked surprised and shook his hand.  “Wow, I was expecting your name to be something strange like Frodo, or Mxyzptlk”

Mel frowned and snatched his hand away.  “We’re in Canada, asshole, not Lord of The Rings.”

Zachariah felt bad.  “Sorry man, this day has been rather crazy.”

Mel shrugged and seemed to relax.  “No worries.  After all, we are about to be eaten by a rock troll.”

****

He was gone.

How had he done it?  Just vanished into thin air?  Was there something the elders had left out?

Cathleen felt a desperation clutch her mind.  Zersch’s awakening was a mere forty eight hours away and she had lost the Roghniathe.  She was bordering on the first to fail.

She was coming close to allowing the end of the world.

That was when she felt them, the world bending around them as they followed the ethereal trail she had made when she teleported.

The Ninjas.

Cathleen became quiet and hid in the shadow of a huge tree while watching the clearing.  Kahn was the first to appear out of thin air.  The lady Ninja took a look around then calmed.  Ninjas began to appear behind her.

Cathleen frowned, not believing Kahn to have the ability to follow Cathleen’s teleport exactly.  Ninjas continued to come out of the portal and she realized that Kahn had brought nearly her entire clan.

Cathleen decided it had to be done and reached deep inside herself.  Her abdomen began to glow and her wolf tattoo began to come to life.

She could now smell and hear like that of the wolf.  She caught Zachariah’s scent immediately and began her quiet stealth move into the trees.

She had to find him before the Ninjas.

Next week:  Zachariah’s mysterious journey has only just begun.  As Cathleen and the Ninja struggle to find him first, Zachariah must decide if his new friend Mel is an ally or another enemy.  All this, while trying to escape the Rock Troll!

It all continues next week!

Stranger things

TO BE CONTINUED….

2 Druid Vs Ninja

 2

Druid Vs. Ninja

She moved.  As her muscles began to flex and tighten in order to send her into motion, the tattoos covering her arms and shoulders seemed to dance and float around her. Zachariah couldn’t believe his eyes as he watched.  A brilliantly colored bird, Zachariah thought it was a robin, and a detail laden, thorn vine came alive all across her body.  The beauty of them mesmerized Zachariah in a sort of trance.  He lost himself in the fantastic moving patterns while trying to figure out if they were really moving or if he was just seeing things.

She crossed the ten foot distance between them in a second, maybe two.  Zachariah couldn’t comprehend the speed of her movement.  As she closed in, she brought the sword up.  She thrust it at Zachariah’s head, which was, just then, coming out of the tattoo trance.  Having decided conclusively, that they were moving and he wasn’t crazy, he could only watch.

 The blade however, did not pierce his face nor any other part of his person for that matter.

The blade stabbed past the right side of his head leaving only an inch or two to spare.

As it did, a loud metal on metal sound exploded in Zachariah’s ear, but he did not move. He didn’t move, not because he was stalwart with courage, but because he was locked up with fear.  Slowly, he moved just his eyes to look to his right.

The Celtic woman’s movement had been in order to parry the blow of another sword, meant for Zachariah’s head.

In the next second, Zachariah took stock of his would-be murder weapon and the person wielding it.  The sword was of Japanese descent.   Zachariah knew this because of the Japanese based role playing game he played.  Zachariah’s nerd knowledge continued to help him with the scene, allowing him to know that the sword being used was too short to be a full Katana, also lacking the small curve in the blade.

The man holding the blade was dressed head-to-toe in black material.  This included a great majority of his head, with the exception of the eyes.  The eyes announced his Japanese heritage, even if the outfit hadn’t already.

A Ninja?!

“Don’t move!” The Celtic woman yelled the command to Zachariah, and went rigid.

The Celtic woman’s thorn, vine tattoo came to life, suddenly brighter than the others.  The ground beneath the Ninja went from friendly to hostile in less than a second.  Thorn covered vines exploded upwards and wrapped around the Ninja as he struggled.

Suddenly, the Celtic woman stepped in close, spinning and bringing the sword around to Zachariah’s other side.  Her blade moved fluidly through the air and Zach heard a yelp.  He shifted his eyes from the Ninja, writhing in the web of the woman’s vines, to see another Ninja.  This one was impaled by the Celtic woman’s blade.

“Holy shit!” Zachariah screamed as she kicked the Ninja off her blade.

“I said, don’t move!”  She yelled back, her accent heavy.

The Ninja behind Zachariah started to wail now.  He was fully encased in the vines, the thorns were digging into his skin.  He dropped to the ground, futilely writhing against the tenacious plant-life.

“We have to go, now!”  She screamed and grabbed Zachariah’s hand to drag him away.

Zach didn’t budge.  “The fuck we do!  Look Terma-Irish, or whatever the hell you are, I can’t just-”

Zachariah was cut off promptly by a side kick to his chest, the force of which sent him hurling backward five feet before crashing to the ground in pain.  He gulped for air instinctively, the kick having robbed him of it all.

“Kare O Kaisai!” yelled a stern female voice.

Zachariah looked up and where he had stood was another Ninja.  This one was different from the others.  This one was slender and less stocky, and the eyes which the mask revealed were feminine.

On her command, two more Ninjas appeared on either side of Zach.  Zachariah still wasn’t sure of what was happening, but he understood that he no longer wanted to be there.  He scrambled to try to get to his feet and shake off the kick with which the lady Ninja had honored him, but it was no use.

The Ninjas on either side of Zachariah quickly did some kind of strange hand gesture and then struck the ground.

As Zachariah stood, the Earth moved, lashing up and grabbing hold of his feet.

He was trapped.

Zachariah tried to pull himself free, looking up only for a second to see the fight between the lady Ninja and the Celtic woman.  The Celtic woman advanced with a series of unrelenting sword attacks, each thwarted by the Lady Ninja, as she back-peddled.  Suddenly, the Celtic woman seemed to spiral the blade in front of her and around the guard of the lady Ninja before quickly stabbing forward into the lady Ninja’s gut.

The lady Ninja went rigid with shock and surprise at the kill shot.

Suddenly, the lady Ninja wasn’t there anymore.  Zach didn’t understand at all, but now it seemed the Celtic woman had her sword buried in the trunk of a tree, instead of the black clad, lady Ninja.  The Celtic woman seemed just as surprised.

“Hey, what the-” Zachariah began, having ceased to struggle against the ground that trapped his legs.  He had been caught up in the battle in front of him.

Without warning, the Celtic woman’s shadow moved on its own before taking shape and becoming the lady Ninja.  It was as if the lady Ninja had crawled out of the Celtic woman’s shadow.

“Now, how in the hell did she do that?!”  Zachariah yelled, confused.

“Dirty Ninja!” The Celtic woman screamed and pulled her blade out of the tree just in time to block the lady Ninja’s downward slash.

The swords rang out again, but the Celtic woman was still off balance.  The Lady Ninja was too fast.  She drove a hard kick into the Celtic woman’s solar plexus, before leaping into the air with a spinning roundhouse to the Celtic woman’s temple.

The two hard, fast kicks sent the Celtic woman, ass over head, to Zachariah’s father’s back lawn in a heap.

The Lady Ninja relaxed as she turned towards Zachariah.  She looked him over while slowly approaching him.  She got uncomfortably close to Zach and he could feel her breath on his face as he stared at her, confused.

Finally she spoke, unlike The Celtic woman, her voice gave no hint of an accent.  “So, this is the new Roghnaithe.”

Zachariah raised his eyebrow at the confusing word.  “God bless you.”

The lady Ninja ignored the comment.  “Tell me, Roghnaithe, what value would you put on your life?”

Zachariah seemed to consider.  “Twenty-seven fifty…  That’s American dollars, before taxes.”

The lady Ninja raised an eyebrow.  “Still joking, given the situation?”

Zachariah shrugged, “No offense to you and the rest of your implausible Ninjas or the tattoo pirate over there, but the situation kinda seems like a joke in itself.”

“Do you understand what is happening?” She asked.

“I tripped and fell into a bad writer’s webisode?”  He answered.

Zachariah suddenly noticed the Celtic woman moving on the ground behind the lady Ninja.  She slowly drew a small throwing axe from what seemed like nowhere, slowly bringing herself to her knees.

“I’m trying to help you.”  The .lady Ninja said, frustrated with Zachariah’s attitude.

“Then why did you kick me?” Zachariah asked, still holding his ribs.

“I kicked you to save you!” She was almost yelling out of irritation.

Zach shook his head.  “Who kicks people to save them?!”

“Orokana, orokana, rokudenashi!”  She suddenly yelled in Japanese.

Zach continued his rant, “Seriously! You can’t just run around kicking people and telling them, ‘It’s okay, I just saved you.’  It’s just not how it works!”

The argument would not find its close, as at that very moment, the Celtic woman made her move.

****

The lady Ninja was purely distracted by Zachariah’s inability to just shut up.  The Celtic woman saw her opening and took it, hurling the axe.  It spiraled through the air and connected true.  Cathleen, the Celtic woman had seen her share of Ninja magic used in the years of feuding between their clans.  The spell they used on Zachariah was no exception.  The two Ninja’s on either side of him had to maintain a perfect stance and concentration to keep him held in one spot.

Her axe sunk into the back of the head of one of the spell Ninjas.  It struck with a noise not that different from the sound of a melon being cut in half.

The Ninja crumpled to the ground and she was already in motion.  The next couple of seconds would be crucial.  She knew she didn’t have the skill to defeat Kahn the Lady Ninja in battle so it was time to get herself and the Roghnaithe out of here.

Her robin tattoo began to sing.  It became alive on her skin as she instinctively began to call on the rune’s power.

Kahn spun around, blade in hand.

Cathleen wasn’t going to make it.

Suddenly Zachariah, now free from the spell, stepped forward and cocked his leg backwards before soccer kicking Kahn with all the force he had…

…between the legs.

Kahn screamed in pain, being totally taken by surprise with Zachariah’s sudden participation in the fight.

Even Cathleen winced in sympathy for her adversary.

“How’s your vagina like that shit?!”  Zach screamed at her.  “It’s okay, I just ‘saved it’”

Zachariah was doing air quotes with his hands around ‘saved it’ when Cathleen got to him.

She heard the song of the robin tattoo, and then felt the shift of the world around them.

****

In a flash of light and the echo of a robin’s song, Cathleen and Zachariah vanished before Kahn’s very eyes as she fell to her knees in pain.  Her vision clouded from the tears that came instinctively with the blow.  Her remaining Ninja subordinates stood looking confused as to where Zach and Cathleen went.

She spoke in Japanese as she started to catch her breath.  “They are gone.  She used her robin tattoo to teleport.”

Her subordinates calmed down and went to assist their mistress.

She waved him off.  “I can stand on my own, you fool!”

He backed off as she slowly pulled herself to her feet.  “She has taken him to the Garden of Zersch.  Collect the remains of our brothers and ready the clan.  We must stop her.”

Next week:  Zachariah has avoided the threat of the Ninja, and we now know he can’t shut up, but answers only leave more questions!  The lady Ninja, Kahn and Cathleen the Druid warrior both say they have Zachariah’s safety at heart but can Zach trust either one?   Where has Cathleen taken him?  Who or what is Zersch?

Find out next week!

Stranger things

TO BE CONTINUED….